Oh, STDs. You gotta love'em, right?
You see, STDs happen when you are not careful.
Whenever you don't think straight, and use the right head, that's when you get hit hard by an STD.
I know what you are thinking... "but I'm careful, I use protection".
Not that STD, you dumbass; I am talking about the other STD.
The STD I want to talk to you about is:
S.T.D = "Stunts", "Tricks", and "Deceptions".
This is the real illusion in the Hollywood night life scene.
You know, the gimmicks and tactics Hollywood venues and random promoters use to bait and switch you into coming to their club night.
I don't want to go on a long rant, but I'll share with you a few of the most common.
The biggest STD that promoters like to use is the "Open Bar" trick.
Example: "Open Bar" tonight, however what they fail to tell you is that the open bar is only from 9pm - 10:30pm and the venue opens at 10pm, but they only start letting people inside around 10:45ish. Plus, it's usually not even a complete open bar, for the most part it's an open vodka bar only.
Another stunt Hollywood promoters like to use is the "Special Live Performance", its either usually some random no name talent that you've never even heard of, or someone so famous that they never seem to show up.
The best are the "surprise special guest performances"...again, its usually a real nobody, from parts unknown, or a big no show...otherwise they would put it on a flier or something. Don't even get me started on the "album listening/release parties"...that's when they really start making shit up.
One of my personal favorites are when they hit you with the "free gift bags". Here is the kicker; it's normally from some no name company and its usually wack shit like: a coupon for some tanning salon, some batteries, lighter fluid, matches, hair spray, HIV test, a pencil, key chain, a penny, a McDonald's happy meal toy, etc.
If it is something dope, more than likely those gift bags are gone long before you get there because they'll give them away to their friends, or they only have two gift bag(s)...noticed I used an "s" after the word bag, because that is technically legal.
So, be careful not to get caught up with any Hollywood night life STDs.
Left untreated, it could come back to really bite your in the ass later.
You are not on any guest list...because there are no guest list...unless you are at an event or have to pay a cover at a Z-List venue.